Old Coal

Why Old Coal Cares

2011-06-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

After watching an episode of Behind the Music of People Who Play Other People’s Music on VH1-5, I understood why Old Coal has become the Island’s premier Philanthropic Middle Age Cover Band. Granted they are all loving fathers, but perhaps it is the story of Old Coal front man and proclaimed Vocaltainer, Neilsson Jessrobin that drives them to push all band proceeds toward children’s education programs and Medical Research. Self-diagnosed at the age of 35 with Dillusionary Diamonditis, a rare but troubling Identity Disorder, Jessrobin wishes that every child has the opportunity to make their dreams come true. “As the illegitimate love child of the great Neil Diamond, I spent my youth traveling far. Without a home but not without a star. I wanted to be free and I want the Children of this great country to Huddle Close and Hang on to their Dream”.

While Jessrobin’s melodic gibberish and assertion that Diamond fathered him at an early 70’s rave at Merv Griffin’s beach chalet has never been substantiated, he knows the truth and offers this transcendental proof. “I once paid $35 to spend two brilliant hours with my Dad. And I when I screamed, “Are you my father?”, he immediately played “I Am, I Said” and pointed to my section of General Admission seating. For the spokespeople that claim that no one can be sure who fathered whom at Merv’s place on the account of it being a Double Meat party, I say, ‘Just look at me – I Am Diamond, definitely not Paul Anka.”

As he struggles with his own incurable mental disease, Jessrobin and his three band mates will headline the Izzy’s Angels Benefit show on June 11 at the Elks in Alameda. The Izzy’s Angels show will provide much needed funding for a disease that can and will be cured: Freidrich’s Ataxia. It is a debilitating, life-shortening, degenerative neuro-muscular disorder that impacts one of Old Coal’s greatest fans, ten year old Isabelle Penston. This is a show that really matters and tickets are available through normal distribution channels as well as at the following website: http://www.homegrownrockforfara.org/

Jessrobin promises a show like no other. One featuring a new level of showmanship and stage production. He smoothly summarizes Old Coal’s opportunity to headline a 3-band Night of Magic and homegrown rock this way - “Golden Age is the foreplay and Old Stock is obviously the dirty sex. We want to be more than that post-sex cigarette and failed attempt at cuddling before passing out. We need to deliver something memorable, something grand. Something shiny - shiny like a Diamond. Like the Diamond that I am."

He knows who he is. Do you know who you are or who you want to be? Start your summer by making a difference.

Old Coal hearts Izzy and reminds you that Good Times Never Felt So Good… So please come to the Izzy’s Angels benefit show or consider making a donation at http://www.curefa.org/

Order Your Old Coal Stuff Now!

2011-05-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

And wear it to the big bash on June 11 Izzy's Angels Summer Kickoff Bash.

The Complete Jessrobin Interview

2010-10-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

It is common knowledge that band images are formed by publicists, spin doctors and the media. Just ask icons like chronic bedwetter Justin Bieber and flat-chested prude Katy Perry. Million dollar marketing campaigns build band brands targeted for certain demographics. One might expect things to be different for an aging cover band in a suburban island city, but no. The Media Blitz surrounding this Saturday's Halloween Bash at Rooster's Roadhouse has found Old Coal on sfgate.com, 107.7 the Bone and Alameda Patch (http://alameda.patch.com/articles/yes-they-do-still-rock-dad-band-school-benefit-saturday-night). The latter article portrays Old Coal as serious rocking Dads based on respectful journalistic craftiness and paraphrasing. Here at oldcoal.com, we offer the complete interview with singer NeilSon Jessrobin.

We're seated here on the grand, bedazzled stage of Roosters Roadhouse where in a few short days legendary middle aged cover band "Old Coal" will take the stage for the first time in nearly a year. A homecoming of sorts. Seated with me is Old Coal frontman and lead singer NeilSon Jessrobin (sporting a low cut silver shirt, loaded with sequins). Trying to ignore the machismo created by his dark flowing chest hair, I ask NeilSon some questions:

Rock Journalist (RJ): We know about your karoke vocal craft but can you tell us about the other instruments that make up the band?
NeilSon Jessrobin (NJ): Not counting our European tour ensemble of high pitched wind instruments, our band features 5 cylinders of varying diameters covered with kangaroo hyde used for percussion, a wiggle stick and one of those funny guitars with only four strings. And we have a lock of Neil Diamond's chest hair in a Ziploc baggy. It's not an instrument, but it's really cool. As for the guys, we're not very well acquainted.

(RJ): Did you front any other Dad Bands prior to Old Coal? How long?
(NJ:) As you know, the 90s were all about Mom's Bands, so generally speaking, no. How long? Oh, wouldn't you like to know.

(RJ:) How did Old Coal come to be? How did you all find each other?
(NJ:) Eharmony.com - We found that all 4 of us were incredible matches on all 29 Dimensions® of Compatibility including dance style and leather pants preference. Next thing you know, we're headlining a non-sanctioned gig on the lido deck of a Disney Senior cruise in Lake Berryessa.

(RJ): Do you consider yourself a "Hobby Rocker" or a "garage band?"
(NJ): Chamber minstrels.

(RJ:) What is the best part of being on stage in front of a crowd?
(NJ:) That I get to see the world through Bono's eyes and say words like Apartheid whenever I want to. Nothing beats finding your inner Celine Dionne.

(RJ:) What do your kids think about you being in a band?
(NJ:) They enjoyed it until I converted their bedroom into a recording studio and started kicking their asses in Wii RockBand. But they know, in the end, that this puts them on the fast track to Reality TV shows. And if my dream can help them achieve theirs, it's certainly well-directed energy. It beats bowling.

(RJ:) What's next for Old Coal?
(NJ:) The usual. 99 cent tacos at Jack in the Box, belly button hair weaves and then preparing for our Thanksgiving Bash in San Francisco.

Costumed Coal to Play Halloween Bash

2010-10-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

Alameda's premier middle aged cover band will be performing at a widely anticipated Halloween party at Rooster's Roadhouse on Oct 30. A twist on this month's performance will be that the members of Old Coal will be playing in costume, following in the footsteps of their childhood idols like Davide Bowie, Kiss and Gordon Lightfoot. But as with their set list, Old Coal's costume choice seems imaginative and unbelievable. "This year, the four of us are going to dress up as a 7 piece Rock/Jazz band called Spill the Wine", announced singer Neil Jessrobin. "We'd be sell outs if we threw on the usual 'My Little Pony' outfits or perverted Urkel suits. The Park St Spirit store made it such an easy decision with their surplus of Gregg Cevallos wigs and Willpenny Slim femur extenders. Who knows what else we will have up our sleeves" Sharing the playbill will be West of High who, not to be outdone, will be dressed as the pre-rescue Chilean Miners, authentically playing their eclectic rock set from half a mile below the earth's surface. "It will be as if we're not even there" notes WoH singer Jeff Pace. Tickets will be $10 and intoxicating treats will be given to all guests in costume. Rooster's Clucking Party bus will make strategic stops across the island to deliver guests in style. Beware the Pirate Rooster and send questions or ride requests to oldcoal@gmail.com.

A Concert for Finland - June 19th

2010-06-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Expanding on their trend of local philanthropic performances, aged and confused Alameda cover band Old Coal will be playing an international benefit show to aid the country of Finland on June 19^th at John Patrick’s in Alameda. The show will feature karaoke as well as a Q&A session with Finnish defectors, Ian and Izumi Kennedy, who will detail the struggles of living in the Scandinavian country that ABBA is not from. While a benefit for a country with the 34^th highest GDP in the world may seem odd to most, Old Coal is concerned about the stranglehold Mobility giant Nokia has on the Finnish public and has seen the pain through the eyes of Kennedy, who endured a brief and forgettable stint as the band’s drummer in 2009. Says singer Neil Jessrobin, “when Ian showed us pictures of kids talking into shoe boxes covered in tin foil, on these so-called phones with Baltic herring used as antennae, I broke down in tears. In the world of the iPhone, the global symbol of freedom and happiness, this cannot happen.” Jessrobin, who has long studied Finland at the University of Wikipedia, continued “we’re only 24 years removed from the Japanese colonization of Finland and it’s been only 18 years since Kyostie Karetie’s groundbreaking parka-less performance shattered the world of bland family entertainment on the Kimo Toskala Variety Show . There is still hope for a Smartphone revolution for these peace-loving, fish-eating neighbors to the North”. Adds bassist Pete Spag, “Finland can be the next Minnesota if we can just raise awareness. If we can get one Finnish teenager to text while driving, just so we can later tell them not to, this show will be worth it.” This will be a free show starting at approximately 9:00pm.

HFR Show - MayDay!!

2010-03-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

http://www.oldcoal.com Old Coal has laid to rest breakup rumors by announcing a new show for Saturday May 1st at JohnPatrick's in Alameda. Drummer Hood, with his February Rehab behind him, says that the Alameda band has reset its focus: "when you have been together as long as we have - a whole year, the grind of conveniently scheduled and located practices, combined with the stresses of playing marginally enjoyable music for an audience with liberal standards can get tough. We want to have fun again. This is our Have Fun Reunion show. The HFR show." Guitarist Jeremiah Jipe added, "When we decided to do this HFR show, I knew it had to be JohnPatricks. Its association with HFRs is deeply cemented in my heart. When I think of the legends that have performed there - Danny Ballz, Fat Pete, Tree Lady - the STDs that have been shared and the porn that has been earnestly won... it calls to me like Jesus herself." Manager Foxy Inge K confirmed that this will be a free show. "Please people, spend the money on drinks not tickets. And maybe some sanitary toilet seat covers. It's about Fun and avoiding chlamidya. There is no opening act per se, though entertainment is never in short supply at JPs. You may even be treated to some of the saltiest karaoke tunes ever heard on the Island."

Guitarists Injured in Down Lo Melee

2010-03-01T16:09:00.001-08:00

Those headed to the Down Lo pub on Saturday night got an Old Coal show afterall. And probably some bruises. An altercation broke out at the club when Coal members Jipe and Spag came to the club to greet disappointed fans but refused requests to take the stage. Accompanied by their wives and a posse one onlooker described as casually menacing, Jipe and Spag signed an autograph, ordered a drink and were near immediately spun like rag dolls to the floor to chants of, 'Play Jenny'. Stella Meniketti-Jipe, wife of the lead guitarist, was heard pleading, "Don't hurt his hands" as her husband was thrown into the bar's glass door enterance while Dot Spag was escorted to safety by bar manager Susan Reed as her bassist-husband was assaulted with a Shake Weight.
The melee spilled on to Main St. where mobs had gathered for a Playboy/UFC event nearby. The militant faction of Old Coal followers from nearby Quincy who call themselves 'The Black Lung' and are believed to have started the incident were no match for the awaiting boob-frenzied testosterone outside and were dealt with effortlessly. Head of Old Coal Security, Sgt. Tom Dirtywaders, said Spag suffered hurt feelings and unrelated chafing while Jipe had facial lacerations and diarreah. Donations toward medical treatment or music lessons are being accepted by texting "JIPE" to 8675309.

Old Coal Cancels Central Valley Tour

2010-02-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

http://www.oldcoal.com
Old Coal has canceled their one-date Central Valley tour only days before it kicks off and ends in Chico this Saturday. This move, equally stunning and controversial, is again fueling speculation that the band's future is in doubt. A visibly shaken Hood, drummer for the aging cover band, responded to the news lashing out, "Its worse than a strain". When asked if he was referring to band relations, he added, "I've been through Rehab before and know what to expect. It's gonna be rough".

Singer Neil Jessrobin said that the band is disappointed with the tour cancellation but concedes that Hood needs to address his situation. "The decision to stop the tour was a no-brainer. When nerves get frayed, hospitalization is necessary. Hood needs to do this for his family. Plus, Chico isn't a big college town anyway. We'll be motorin' again soon".

When asked whether the band will perform together again, bassist Spag gave an ominous, bleak two word statement of distress, "Mayday".

Manager Foxy Inge K could not be reached for comment, stating only that she wasn't "a morning person".

Old Coal To Play Chico - Feb 27

2010-01-26T15:18:00.000-08:00

http://www.oldcoal.com
Old Coal is set to embark on their longest tour ever with a one-date stop in Chico, CA at the famed Down Lo Pub. Drummer Hood commented on the band’s decision to tour, “The Central Valley Tour is the perfect length for a band of our stature. It’s really all we can handle at this point.” TMZ reported that promoter Foxy Inge K had successfully negotiated dates at the Olive Tree in Corning, Bill & Kathy’s in Dunnegin and Granzella’s in Williams, but these shows were promptly cancelled due to security concerns and less than stellar crop harvests. “Olives, Almonds… it all went to shit because of El Fucking Nino or something,” said Foxy. “I can’t send my boys in those kind of conditions.”

Still, Old Coal will be playing an extended set at the Down Lo in Chico on Saturday, Feb 27 at 9pm. Jipe is calling it a long awaited Odyssey fulfilled and singer Neil Jessrobin views it as a long time dream come true. “To go on the road and bring our love of 80s covers and Mr. Diamond to the Central Valley, especially Chico, an established college town heralded for excess drinking, it brings tears, really. Everytime I see Lou Diamond Phillips board that plane in La Bamba, I think, 'that could be me!'. Except the crashing part. That would be bad."

Anyone interested in joining the OldCoal I-5 caravan, contact Foxy.

Break Up Rumors Untrue

2009-12-17T16:40:00.001-08:00

http://www.oldcoal.com

Rumors of an Old Coal break-up are greatly exaggerated says a spokeswoman for Alameda's greatest Cover Band of Cover Bands.

Collaborator and promoter Foxy Inge K stated that the band is very much looking forward to the Edison Fundraiser at the Bladium on January 16th despite recent separations.

The break-up rumors were fueled by singer Neil Jessrobin's marathon tour of the Southeastern Karaoke circuit, drummer Hood's disappearance and guitar tandem Jipe and Spag's recent associations with French Metal Spiritualist, Yogi Pouche-du-Lapin (pictured).

Foxy clarified that Hood is recovering from cranial tatoo removal surgery and that Jessrobin simply has been scratching a singing itch during extended business trips. Asked about the influence of Pouche-du-Lapin, Foxy said, "God knows what those freaks are up to but the naked guy is creepy and not allowed near my house". Foxy added, "you would think that with the Holidays, people would be taking interest in more important matters like family, Tiger Woods and Stella-and-Dot Jewelry - not a friggin' Dad Band going through a phase."

Old Coal Raising Clams for Kids

2009-11-18T22:34:00.000-08:00

The Old Coal, Old Stock, Telepathic Slip "Rooster" Tour raised over $700 for Alameda "Music in Schools" Programs. Doing what we can to ensure that your kids can play Neil Diamond songs for drunk, dancing friends in 20 years. Or 30. Possibly 40. But with talent.

Another Rockin' Show at Roosters

2009-11-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

Some of us just waking up from last night, a couple of us never went to bed. Hope everyone had as much fun as we did last night. As usual, Telepathic Slip and Old Stock killed. See you at the next show! (photos and vids coming soon).

Rockin the Cock - November 7

2009-10-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

Old Coal will be playing at Rooster's Roadhouse (fondly nicknamed The Cock) in Alameda on Saturday, November 7 with our favorite touring mates, Old Stock and Telepathic Slip - a reunion of sorts of the infamous June 12 gig. The show starts at 8pm and tickets are $6 in advance and $8 at the door.

In response to the near riots on June 12, we have worked with Roosters to secure an additional bartender for the evening. As my dear Grammy Spag used to say, drink up before a night at the Cock.

Tickets can be purchased in the usual places (Edison blacktop) and from the usual cast of salespersons. Or, if so inclined, you can send an email to oldcoal@gmail.com and we'll work something out.

Note: under strict order of Homeland Security and threat of litegation by both NAMBLA and anti-child pornography advocacy groups, the tour is no longer called the 'Dads Rock the Cock for Kids Tour". It is now, "Fathers Play Rousing Music at An Alameda BBQ Music Venue in Respectful Benefit of Children of all Nations, Races, Religions and Orientations". Please contact our attorney, Neilsson Jessrobbin Sr. for any further legal matters.

Now - go Get your Cock On Nov 7!!!

(thats 5 uses of the word cock in this post..... make that 6).

2009-08-31T13:14:00.000-07:00

A guitarist inspired... maybe someone can put these words to music and record them so that Old Coal may one day perform it....

Ode the eve of Edison:

small faces pressed against crisp cotton / while we pick at covered rock.
Midnight darkness and black light / clanking bottles on a quiet block

The coal mine groans / sweat pouring down her blackened veil
the old men in her grip / the stench of scotch and ale.

black water down the drain
black water down the drain

Nothing found yet prior plucked /we dredge on others dreams
what's left is ours to claim / in dripping caverns and mountain streams

Summer succumbs to Autumn's rape / returning to familiar ground
rhythm and rock remembered / in this catacomb of sound

black water down the drain
black water down the drain

This one, so rare unearthed / Never to be sung
Unless covered by another cover / This canary with blackened lung

black water down the drain
black water down the drain

-Jipe

Upcoming Show - Join Our Mailing List

2009-08-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

We are in the final stages of planning a show in October, continuing our tour with Old Stock and Telepathic Slip. Get on our Mailing list to find out the date and location. The 5th and 38th persons to sign up will win an Old Coal t-shirt. Why 38? 8+6+7+5+3+0+9=38, that's why!

Cheering For Our Privates

2009-08-18T13:43:00.001-07:00

Thanks to everyone for being so fun during our latest Private Show at Bodd & Tonnies. It is not uncommon for us to start playing to an empty room, but having one fill up and cheer as we played was nice. And a special shout out to those who did tequila shots in order for us to play an encore. For anyone interested in our Privates, just send us an email. We are liberal in our gig selection with the following standard exceptions: hay rides, side shows, gelato store openings and rest homes.

We debuted a few new covers at this last show and Neilsson Jessrobin gave back to the fanbase by providing Karaoke instruction in the front room. Not many noticed but Jipe played his guitar wearing loosely fitting mittens through the entire set - a technique he learned while playing alongside the Lake Oroville Drum Corps (they do a great cover of Warrant's Cherry Pie btw).

We are in the process of planning an End of Summer extravaganza with Old Stock and Telepathic Slip - so stay tuned to oldcoal.com for updates. And remember, if you want to share in the joy of our privates, we'll give you everything we got.

Secret, Private Show Success

2009-08-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

It is not uncommon for Old Coal to play a show in an empty room. In fact, some of our best crowds have

Old Coal Boycotts VH1

2009-08-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

It only took two harshly, yet passionately worded emails to VH1 to get camera crews out to Alameda to catch Old Coal on film. To our dismay, the jokers at Viacom decided a Behind the Music of a "publicly invisible and awkward band of aged men" wouldn't be warmly received by any known demographic or embraced by any legitimate sponsors. Jipe responded in kind with an email, laced with photographs, challenging that he was not pubic-ly invisible. We realized the subtle difference between public and pubic long after the email had been sent. Still, camera crews arrived and have been filming all week under the guise of Home & Garden Television. After four days of them not letting us play instruments, handing us tools and having us participate in craft faire, we are suspicious of their intentions. Coal Miners Unite: Boycott VH1 - except for Rock of Love Bus, as you may miss a Every Rose Has a Thorn (awesome cover) sound bite.

Back in the Mine

2009-07-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

We have returned to the practice space and are working on some new material. We have searched high and low for the best coverbands to cover. In fact, we were in Clear Lake the other week where we saw a cover band named 'Kyle and the Konactis' running through a set of Billy Idol songs using nothing but wind instruments. It was so fantastic we decided to honor them with a significant musical challenge: We have recreated their instrumental version of White Wedding back into its traditional form of guitar, bass, drums and vocals. It is this approach to the craft which sets Old Coal apart from your everyday cover band. Many, many bands - at weddings, mall openings, reunions, and prison festivals - cover Billy Idol. But only Old Coal dares to cover Kyle and the Konactis covering Billy Idol.

Old Coal Roosters Show - Rousing Success

2009-07-02T02:23:00.000-07:00

Over 200 folks packed Roosters Roadhouse in Alameda on June 12th for the first ever Alamedapalooza featuring Old Stock, Telepathic Slip and of course Old Coal.